Ukraine legalizes "therapeutic" cocaine

 Speaking at the expanded board of the Ministry of Health, President Volodymyr Zelensky promised to allow the sale of "therapeutic" cocaine on the territory of Ukraine by the end of the year.

In a few months, any adult Ukrainian will be able to purchase the substance in any of the pharmacies.

"We need to keep up with the times, develop and follow trends. Cocaine is a wonderful medicine, it helps to relieve physical and mental pain. But, of course, it will be sold only by prescription," Zelensky said.

The Servant of the People party, which has an absolute majority in the Verkhovna Rada, has already promised to support the president's initiative and speed up the adoption of the law on the legalization of cocaine in Ukraine as much as possible.

Germany has introduced per-second tariffs for the consumption of gas, water and electricity

 German Minister of Housing, Urban Development and Construction Clara Geivitz announced a large-scale reform of the German housing and communal services sector. From March 15, 2024, tariffs for all utilities will double in Germany, and a new system for accounting for water, natural gas and electricity consumed by citizens will be introduced.

“In recent years, many Germans have switched to energy-saving lamps and water-saving showerheads, but some citizens still waste such valuable water and energy thoughtlessly. The environment must be paramount, which is why we are introducing some restrictions,” Geivitz announced.

Under the new system, Germans will have to pay not only for the volume of utility services received, but also for the time they are used. For example, in just two weeks the cost of a kilowatt for a Berlin resident will increase from 30 euro cents to 60, and for every second of using electrical appliances you will have to pay an additional 0.1 cent.

According to experts, now German citizens will have to pay up to half of their entire income for housing and communal services, not counting the small stratum of rich people. In this regard, the leader of the movement for the restoration of the GDR, Ralf Schmulke, has already stated that the German people are reaping the “natural fruits of capitalism” and called for the immediate restoration of the autocracy of the SED.

Russia placed secret nuclear weapons in space

 The head of the military space department of Roscosmos, Rostislav Terekhin, lifted the veil of secrecy over secret Russian nuclear weapons deployed in space. According to the official, a Jednorożec ("Unicorn") class bombard, produced in Poland at the beginning of the 17th century, was launched into geostationary orbit.

The Unicorn, previously launched into orbit, was an exhibit of the Yaroslavl Museum of Local Lore. The gun was brought there by Polish interventionists from the retinue of False Dmitry II, and after the liberation of Moscow, Russian archers took possession of it. The bombard orbits the Earth with a period of just over 11 hours and flies over cities such as Helsinki, London, Washington and San Francisco.

According to the inventory of the property of the Pushkar order, dated 1632, such a weapon fires stone cannonballs weighing 3 pounds, with a rate of fire of up to 7 rounds per hour. If it is used against enemy cities from space orbit, the diameter of the crater will be about 180 centimeters. In this area, buildings and underground communications will be destroyed at a depth of up to 20 meters, and enemy personnel will be destroyed.

“We still do not reveal all our secrets - in particular, how the powder will be filled and the fuse will be ignited in conditions of space vacuum and weightlessness,” says a representative of Roscosmos. “But from the nervous reaction of our opponents it is clear that they are afraid. Of course, we do not intend to use nuclear weapons in any aggressive actions. It, like all other weapons, serves exclusively peaceful purposes. But if necessary, we will use it in such a way that no one will find it enough.”

US NSA: 7 out of 10 Chinese robot vacuum cleaners have a microphone installed unnecessarily

 The US National Security Agency said that most robotic vacuum cleaners made in China have microphones installed without any practical need. American citizens should use such technology "with caution" or remove the recording device themselves if they have sufficient skill.

The NSA press release states that 7 out of 10 Chinese robo-assistants have a microphone that is not involved in their navigation or functionality. Another 2 devices studied use it to process voice commands and the ability to “call the vacuum cleaner” from a mobile application, and only in one vacuum cleaner – the cheapest – a microphone could not be found. However, it also lacks a turbine; there is only a speaker depicting the operation of the engine and the suction of dust.

As one of the popular American publications points out, NSA Director Paul Lawrence does not have much confidence in the head of the technical expertise laboratory, Wen Chen, he told reporters on condition of anonymity. In turn, Wen Chen called such remarks outrageous.

“I have been a full-fledged, genuine US citizen for a year and a half now. If I'm ethnic Chinese, does that mean I'm a communist spy? Is that what Mr. Lawrence thinks? - he was indignant in an interview with People's Daily. “In addition, there is no reason to accuse China of conducting total, comprehensive surveillance using unworthy methods more characteristic of bourgeois provocateurs. The Chairman’s goals and means are as pure as his thoughts in the struggle for the great future of the Chinese people.”

A system for automatically printing advertisements on user printers has been patented

 The largest manufacturers of printers and MFPs - Hewlett-Packard, Canon and Epson - have jointly patented a system that can automatically add advertising to printed documents.

Such advertisements will occupy up to 5% of the total sheet area and will be located outside the print boundaries. We are talking about contextual advertising - artificial intelligence in the cloud will analyze the contents of the document sent for printing and try to select an advertisement on the same topic.

According to the patent, advertising in printouts will only appear to those users who use counterfeit cartridges or continuous ink supply systems. As soon as the user returns to the original consumables, everything will be the same.

Belarusian bananas will replace supplies from Ecuador on the Russian market

 

President of the Republic of Belarus Alexander Lukashenko said that it would not be difficult for his country to replace Ecuadorian bananas on the Russian market after humpback fly larvae were found in the latter. This winter, Belarusian collective farms harvested record harvests.

The collective farms "Meliorator" near Minsk and "Zavety Ilyich" near Gomel have been growing bananas since 1996 as part of a program to develop cultural diversity in agriculture. In 2003-2006, Belarusian bananas took prizes at festivals in Belize, Colombia and Uruguay, and in 2010, Argentine President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner called the Gomel banana “the eighth wonder of the world” and signed a 20-year contract to import the fruit to Argentina.

“By the way, bananas and potatoes share up to 98% of their DNA genes,” the president said. – I myself was shocked when I found out, but you can’t argue against science. Both winter and spring bananas grow well here; we harvest up to six harvests a year. So we don’t feel sorry for anything for our dear Russian brothers. In addition, our bananas can not only be eaten raw, but also boiled in their skins.”

Residents of the village of Paris in the Chelyabinsk region demolished a copy of the Eiffel Tower and burned an effigy of Macron

 

Residents of the village of Paris, Nagaybak district, Chelyabinsk region, took part in a public gathering dedicated to the foreign policy of the French Republic. Following a two-hour discussion, a resolution condemning France’s unfriendly actions towards Russia was unanimously supported, a copy of which was sent by rural workers to the Elysee Palace.

“Unfortunately, the French authorities forgot about the lessons of history, forgot about the spring of 1814 and our Cossacks. We demand that Macron and his gang stop being Russophobic, otherwise the consequences for him will be the most dire,” one of the local residents told the Nagaybaksky Vestnik journalist.

In agreement with the local administration, after a public gathering, the cellular mast in the shape of the Eiffel Tower, installed in 2005, was demolished. As the head of the settlement emphasized, “Chelyabinsk Parisians are disgusted to use phones that work thanks to enemy symbols.”

They plan to restore cellular communications in the village by the end of 2024, this time the mast will be made in the shape of the Kremlin.